I have a framed quote that sits on my desk. It was a gift at the conclusion of a very interesting time in my career. It serves as a constant reminder that I’m capable of doing anything I sent my mind towards. It helps me put one foot in front of the other, regardless of the adversity I may face. Sometimes however, struggles overcome and that quote is just a passing thought. Being aware of this, I try to move it closer, within my constant range of vision, but to no avail. Ever have that feeling that no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, it’s just not good enough? Like you have just a small moment of defeat?
For some reason I’m feeling like that today. I can’t quite explain why. Maybe it’s because of recent data I received from my student’s math scores. Despite all students demonstrating growth, I felt like I wasn’t doing enough as the overall was still mid-grade level. Maybe it’s because I’m trying to keep a positive mindset for my mentee, but I’m not able to accomplish that 100% due to a “to do” list that distracts me from helping her to my fullest ability. Maybe it’s because my son had a little fit at bedtime tonight and I felt like I wasn’t a good “mommy”. Maybe it’s because I’m looking for something to fill a gap inside me, and despite the amount of intrinsic motivation I may have to fill it on my own, it’s just not working.
Honestly, I don’t know. I think today is just a day where I find my bed a little sooner so I can put it all behind me. So with that, pleasant slumber to all.