Grocery Shopping Fears

Hey Dad,

I’ve never been so afraid of grocery shopping before. As I prepare myself for the trip, I feel as though I’m heading to war or something. I mentally prepare myself by grounding my thoughts and ensuring I’m hyper focused on my surroundings and personal behaviors. I physically prepare myself with what I wear, how I tie up my hair, which pockets items are placed and so forth. I just don’t want to get sick. I don’t want my family, my kids especially, to have any sense of this.

I’ve considered ordering items to be delivered. Key word being “considering”. I don’t because how do I know they are managing my items safely? How do I know they aren’t even carriers? That’s the fear. No one knows. I just feel better going grocery shopping super early, with fewest people, after a passing night (no more 24 hour stores) where the virus is less likely to “get me”.

Then, there are so many precautions when going home. Spraying the car down with disinfectant spray, carrying cleaning wipes with me while I shop, wiping down my keys, going through a cleanse in the bathroom of clothing, exposed skin, and hair, all before I then diligently clean my grocery items. I think I’m driving myself insane, but I’d rather be safe than sorry. It’s really intense though.

I’m grateful for the careful considerations (or paranoia) associated with life that you’ve instilled in me. I would like to hope they’ve been most helpful in keeping myself and my family safe during this time. Please continue to be our guardian angel. I’m wondering if Mom, Grammy, Pappy, and all the others could join the ranks too?

143. -CJ

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