Power of a Bookmark

I’m constantly missing my father. For a while I used this blog site as a way of coping with my feelings regarding his absence. It helped.

Last night I was chatting with my mother about him. We always share the ways he “visits” us. Our conversation was emotional; it always is when Father comes up.

She shared a quote with me from a Netflix series she watched called Virgin River. The quote says, “When the memory of someone brings peace, instead of pain” is how you know when you’re done grieving.

After sharing this quote, I could hear her sobs through the line. I, too, shed some tears. It’s hard not getting choked up during these times, especially when the living you deeply love experience such a loss as well.

Feeling such sadness while walking through the door, I noticed a bookmark on the kitchen table my son received from a teacher that day. While the quote wasn’t so much the connection, the author was, as it was an author my father used to read all of the time. He owned every hardcover book, loved the movies, and shared some of these memories with me.

The power of a bookmark thus strikes in an unanticipated, yet comforting, way.

2 thoughts on “Power of a Bookmark

  1. lgrainger125

    Yes, the grieving when your surviving parent is also grieving is so hard. I’m just starting to have some peace with mom gone. It’s been quite a journey through my childhood and the few years before she died. I’m glad I had 3 months with my dad after my mom passed, but I’m equally happy that he now lives with my sister, in northwest Iowa. The constant grieving in our conversations those first months drained me. Now I’m able to contain my grief and open it when I can and want to do so.


  2. “When the memory of someone brings peace, instead of pain.”
    This is so poignant. And I think it’s true.
    I’m thankful I have both of my parents with me, but I was extremely close to my grandparents. (I’m keenly aware this is not the same as the loss of a parent.) For a long time, it took so much effort for me not to cry when I mentioned them. That’s why I always add a little something onto the end of the traditional Jewish saying to comfort someone who is bereaved. I’ll emphasize my part in caps so you can see what I’ve added:
    May his/her/their memory always be for a blessing AND MAY MEMORIES OF HIM/HER/THEM ALWAYS BRING A SMILE TO YOUR LIPS.
    I guess the part that I have added reflects the idea of feeling a sense of peace, not pain.


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