A handful of years ago, I lived a more quiet life, and at the time, such stillness was difficult for me. Being a city girl, I missed the sounds of airplane noise, ambulances and fire trucks, the roar of a bustling interstate, and even loud sub woofers as they drove by at 2am.
Now I’m sitting here at 2am, missing some of those quiet moments. I miss the peeper frogs and their croaking sounds. I miss the chirping crickets in the tall, grassy fields. I even miss the howling of a coyote pack as they prowled under the moonlit night for food. I miss the calming, babbling brook as it meandered nearby. I miss how you can see every star in the sky. You can see the way they almost wink at you each time they twinkle. I miss being able to see the depths of our galaxy. I miss how small it made me feel, and how the vastness always put things into perspective. I even miss the freshness of the air that tickles your nose each time a gust would blow. I miss how the country air gave me a larger than life sense of freedom from the chains of responsibility upon each inhale.
I know someday I’ll make it back there for a visit. It’s just nice to remember a place you once called home. It’s nice to remember all the things that drove you crazy, just so happen to be things you miss, and love.
I have often felt torn between 2 places. For me it was California and New York. New York represented family, familiarity, my personal history. California was wildlife, discovery, freedom. I still feel a strong emotional tug toward California, but in the end I chose to come back to what was “home.”
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That’s where I am now, “home”. I have my moment where I miss the other, though. Opposite sides of the country for you! I hope you have chances to travel to Cali. enough to get your fix.
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I did for several decades. Then my closest friend died and I haven’t been back since…2 years ago. Someday…when the right occasion presents itself.
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This post eloquently explores one of life’s paradoxes. I’ve never spent more than a month in an urban area but do love city sounds, yet I also need my country fix and a little camping under the open skies occasionally.
I especially like how you value both ways of living through your words and love of both places.
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I liked this line:
“I miss how small it made me feel, and how the vastness always put things into perspective.”
Place itself is important, but it seems as if memory of place is even more important.
Kevin
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Your wistful post resonates in any heart who hasn’t wandered from home. Your heart home sounds lovely. Who isn’t restored by the sparkle of stars, that fresh air, bird calls? You have brought yourself there with your writing , across the years and miles, to home.
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Your word choice and descriptions are lovely. Your piece starts, flows and ends naturally. Your memory of place reminds me of a home I used to have. Your memories brought back warm memories for me.
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You captured me in this post. I wonder if everyone misses something from the places they have come. I used to live in a city on the shores of Lake Erie in Ohio. I moved to Central Ohio about 30 years ago. Oh, how I miss looking out at the water. Thanks for bringing that memory back to me.
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Your love and longing for both places comes through in your writing. I visualized through your vivid details of both places.
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Thank you for giving a view into your life. You drew strong contrasting images and then unified them through longing. Loved your post.
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